You remember who it was and you remember where it happened. But you don’t know the exact date, so why bother reporting it? Nobody’s going to believe you. You didn’t go to the doctor, and the only person you told isn’t someone you can contact anymore.
Basically, you feel like you have nothing to report. And even if you did, you’re afraid of speaking up because that brings about a lawsuit, public attention, questions you’re not ready to answer, and generally, a lot of stress.
But how much of what you think you know isn’t true?
You’ve seen movies, and you read about lawsuits in the paper, but are you sure that’s what your experience would be like, too? Or is most of what you believe a myth?
What You Need Before Coming Forward
Here are some assumptions you should start questioning.
You Need Physical Evidence
You didn’t take photos, and you didn’t go to the hospital. At the time, you were just trying to get through what happened, and you didn’t think about “evidence” or about what someone could ask for years later.
None of this means you can’t report what happened. Your account is a starting point for investigators, and they can look for something that supports or challenges it.
Either way, they have something to work with. It’s not like you have to arrive with a folder full of answers to every possible question someone could ask. All you need to do is report.
You Had to Report It Immediately
The question most people will ask is, “Why did you wait because,” to them, it makes no sense. Something terrible happened; why wouldn’t you want to report it immediately? But it’s not so black and white, and besides, you didn’t necessarily miss your chance simply because you didn’t say something right away.
A delay doesn’t have to be the end, but you need to check deadlines.
For instance, in New York, you have until your 55th birthday to report sexual abuse. Then again, an Illinois church abuse attorney would tell you that the state of Illinois has no deadline for claims that qualify, but the 2014 change generally doesn’t reopen claims that have already expired.
Basically, check the rules first.
Someone Else Must Have Seen What Happened
You checked the hallway after, and nobody was there, so nobody saw anything, and your report is pointless.
Who could back you up?
But you don’t need an eyewitness to make a report. Besides, someone may remember that you were being called into an office, or they might remember a conversation they had with you. Perhaps they can’t say that they saw the abuse happen, but something they remember could help check something around it.
You’re free to give the investigators those names, and it’s not a promise that each person will remember the details that support your story. And even if you have no names, that doesn’t stop you from explaining what happened.
A Criminal Conviction Must Come First
The police aren’t taking the case further, and that’s that. Game over for you.
If there won’t be criminal charges, how could you bring a lawsuit?
| Neither a criminal charge nor a criminal conviction is needed as a condition of bringing (certain) sexual-offense claims or obtaining civil judgment. – New York Civil Practice Law & Rules § 213-c |
That’s 2 different processes here.
Prosecutors bring criminal cases, and that can lead to punishment. What you can do is bring a civil claim, and that usually leads to compensation. And the proof you need is different in these 2 cases, too. Criminal guilt has to be established beyond a reasonable doubt, but civil liability means showing that your claim is more likely true than not.
To be clear, that difference doesn’t guarantee you have a civil case, but it means that a conviction isn’t generally your entry ticket.
| Criminal guilt must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. In civil litigation, the ordinary standard is preponderance of the evidence. – Cornell Legal Information Institute |
You Can Only Report the Individual Abuser
You told the person in charge, they said they would deal with it, and you believed them.
But then you saw the same person running the same activity next week, and nobody was supervising them or even watching more closely. To some people, this might be beside the point because it’s not the supervisor who abused you, but it should still be included in your report.
Why? Because what an organization knew and the way they responded is important.
A school or a care home could be questioned about complaints they ignored or their failures to supervise their staff. That doesn’t make them automatically liable, of course, but that’s not for you to decide anyway. Just say what happened – the whole story.
Conclusion
The problem is that people tend to decide whether they can win a case before they do anything. And if they decide that they can’t, they give up. But the truth is that, unless you’re a lawyer or an investigator, you have no idea, and you shouldn’t assume otherwise.
If you went through something, report it. It’s as simple as that. Let the lawyers deal with what comes after that.
